Here we are, Christmas Eve. There is so much build up to the big day, it's almost sad to see it come. My nine year old even said, "Christmas is coming too fast!". From a nine year old! We've had our decorations up for a month and a half now, and I am nowhere near sick of them - yet. For some reason, the day after Christmas, I am ready for them to come down - now! It's like grieving...often one wants to hurry up and put the past behind them when grieving, it's the same with Christmas. When it's gone, it's gone! I'm sad to see it end and hate that it's gone, so I hurry and get rid of all remembrances of it.

This year...this year though, it's going to be different. Don't worry, you won't come to house and see my lights or Clemo the penguin still on the front porch. The wreath will be gone, I assure you. But I refuse to "mourn" Christmas. I plan to have a new outlook, a new attitude. First of all, look out 2o10, here I come. I am looking forward to all 2010 has to offer. It could have something to do with my new best friend in life and her family...I plan to live it up with them this year, let the planning begin! You know how it is when you find just the right person and both of your families just "click", well this is it for us. My family is another reason I look forward to 2010. I have such a great brother and sister-in-law...and they make such cute babies for me to play with, what's not to love? I also have been literally working my tail off since September (taking a little hiatus from November til now :) doing metabolix and zumba and I love my results...I start back in January and cannot begin to tell you how much I look forward to that. I've fought my body my whole life, not anymore. I am going to transform it. I turn 32 in March. I told someone once, my twenties were hard. Not bad or horrible, but hard. I got married, went to nursing school, bought a house, moved, got a "real" job, had a baby, stayed poor but happy as a stay at home mom. That was my twenties. My thirties..well, I'm happy in the skin I'm in. I'm happy as a mom, working part time, with a fantastic husband that is secure and supports his family with pride. So look out birthday number 32, I'm coming.

All of that being said...the part I look forward to the most is this. My relationship with Christ. He and I, well, we've been in a lull lately. But He's lit a fire under me again, and I'm ready to be all He wants me to be. I was called to women's ministry years ago and fought it every step of the way - no more. I fought it so long, I don't even know if He intends to use me any longer for it. But I know this, as long as I'm willing, He'll use me. I long for a revival in this nation. Ihave an ache in my heart for the lost to be found. I want to be a part of bringing others not just to know Christ and find a relationship with Him, but to help them realize all He offers and how they can live their lives souled out as well.

My prayer this Christmas is this...let me not "grieve" the end of Christmas. Let the love and passion of my Heavenly Father permeate my heart this Christmas and every day until next Christmas. Let me PLEASE keep the fire in my heart to see souls come to know Him and to help them find out that being a Christian doesn't have to be a struggle, but an honor, a privilege and a joy.

Merry Christmas, hugs and love to you all!