A Day Worth Cheating For

Dear God, it's me, Leslie. You know my heart, You know my desire, You know my goals, You know my weaknesses, You know my strengths. You know when I am stressed, my "mess up" trigger is cocked and ready to cheat. I'm there. I'm so there. Between my family's health issues, the ever shortening life of my precious Granny, stresses at work, being a single parent a good portion of the week, losing a loved one to death and being hurt by a friend...God you know my stresses are high. My heart hurts and my brain says go eat some chocolate to make it better...better yet, pack up the kiddo and go to McDonald's for a treat. The world is telling me, have a beer or a glass of wine, that will ease your burden. Or maybe, if I go do some retail therapy, my problems will seem less. God, I so desire to please You. I so desire to be close to You...and I know each of these quick fixes will push me further from You. I am begging and pleading, please help me to see You as the Fixer, not food or other "stuff" of the world. I am begging You, please help me stay focused on You. I know that each of these quick fixes are permissable, but I also know they are not beneficial. Help me to stay focused and not lose sight. I have come so far and made so many advances towards You...help me to crawl up into the crook of Your big, beautiful, capable arms and rest in Your divine and loving presence. God fill me with Your Holy Spirit, soothe my brokeness with the sweet balm of Your everlasting grace and mercy. I know that when I am weak, You are strong...and You bestow upon me the gift of Your mighty strength. I am broken tonight Lord. I've read the book...I know who wins...but please get me through this time that hurts...I know these times spent in the valley will allow me to soon stand on Your mountaintop and see my growth in You. I can get excited about that. Trials will come and go, and I know that when You bring me through them, You allow me to bask in Your glory. I love You my Addonai, my Maker, my Father, my precious Redeemer. In Jesus Holy, Precious name...Amen